Better Than This?

Why do I feel so lonely?

The music that once comforted my soul
Is jarring to my ears, no more
The peace that I used to feel
Deep in my heart- it isn’t made of steel

It hurts and it’s breaking-
I don’t think it ever stopped breaking.
But it’s intensifying in this moment
Exponentially. It wasn’t meant,
To hurt like this. 

Unrequited love, more like forbidden love.
Lose a sister, gain a mister, who’s the wiser;
Tempting but that’s not how I was raised.
But I’m not going to be looking for praise-
Either.

A different stoplight in your heart and mind
One says go, one says stop. There’s no in between.
Jumping at your name, not pausing to take a breath.
Funny, it hurts too much to take a breath, anyway.

Guilt. Jealously. Betrayal.
The root of all evil.

Greed.

-AVI

 

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Put It On Loop

Ah, it’s been a while since I’ve written something on here! Sorry for being away. I’ve recently had a lot of studying and work to do so I’ve been trying to get it done. Sometimes being busy can be tiring but I think in the end we would all like to be busy so at least we have something to do. But after sitting in one spot for hours trying to focus on working, it’s can get really dull. So, I play music! Not saying that I actually have an instrument that  I play while studying, but playing music from Spotify or whatever’s convenient. 😉 So I decided I would share 35 songs that I think are loop-worthy songs or songs you should listen to at least once! (The majority of the songs I’m going to list will be Kpop because that’s what I listen to but no worries! There will be other songs that aren’t Kpop too. ^^ Fair warning: some of the rap songs aren’t clean versions. ^^) 

  1. Sur Ma Route by Black M

    black m.jpg
    This is actually a French song
  2. Home by Ailee ft. Yoon Miraehome ailee.jpg
  3. It’s Definitely You by V, Jinits definitly you v jin.jpg
  4. Don’t Recall by K.A.R.Ddont recall final.jpg
  5. Attention and Dangerously by Charlie Puthcharlie puth.png
  6. Wine by Suranwine by suran.jpg
  7. Movie Shoot by Loco ft. DPR Livebleached.jpg
  8. Untitled, 2014 by G-DragonG-Dragon.jpg
  9. Adore U and Don’t Wanna Cry by Seventeen dont wanna cry svt.png
  10. I by Taeyeontaeyeon 2.jpg
  11. Feel So Good by B.A.P.feel so good.png
  12. Soldier by Taemin (And Shinee’s Married To The Music)taemin.jpg
  13. Girlfriend and Real Love by Henryreal love.png
  14. Borders by Amber borders.jpg
  15. Hard Carry and If You Do by GOT7hardcarry.jpg
  16. Papaoutai by Stromae

    papaoutai.jpg
    another French song 😀
  17. Comes and Goes and Leather Jacket by Hyukohleather jacket.jpg
  18. Eyes, Nose, Lips by Taeyangrise.jpg
  19. Dancing King (w/ Yoo Jae Suk) and Sing For You by Exosing for you.jpg
  20. Cave Me In by Tablo, Gallant, Eric Namcave me in.jpg
  21. Palette by IU ft. G-Dragonpalette.jpg
  22. A.D.T.O.Y by 2PMadtoy.jpg
  23. Really Really and Fool by Winnerwinner.jpg
  24. Me Like Yuh by Jay Parkjay park.jpg
  25. Cheap Thrills and Elastic Heart by Siacheap thrills.jpg
  26. Devil by Super Juniordevil bw.png
  27. Bad by Infinitebad.jpg
  28. Stay With Me by Punch, Chanyeolgoblin ost.jpg
  29. The Song and Yanghwa BRDG by Zion T.zion t.jpg
  30. Can’t Stop by CNBluecan't stop.jpg
  31. Nilili Mambo and Toy by Block Btoy.jpg
  32. Fake PT. 2 by BeWhybewhy.jpg
  33. Beside Me by Davichidavichi.jpg
  34. Bermuda Triangle by Zico, Dean, Crushber triangle.jpg
  35. Dope and Save Me by BTS (I would also recommend their most recent songs Not Today and Spring Day)bts.png

*Bonus* Some albums/Artists to check out!

  1. Agust D’s mixtape
  2. Zico’s Gallery Album
  3. Big Bang’s MADE Album
  4. The Most Beautiful Moment in Life Pt. 1 and Pt. 2 Albums and Wings Album by BTS
  5. Rap Monster’s mixtape
  6. DPR Live’s Coming To You Live Album
  7. Epik High’s Shoebox Album
  8. K. Will
  9. Jessi (rapper)
  10. Tablo

There are so many more good songs I want to share but that would be a really long list. In the end, these are just songs that I often listen to or that caught my eye as I was scrolling through my playlist. So as to not bore you guys I’ll stop here for now. If you guys have any songs you love to listen to please comment it! I would love to know! 🙂

-Avie ❤

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via Daily Prompt: Loop

To Make You Proud

There is a room in my home where a light is always shining
You can hear the squeaking of the chair or the clicking of the mouse
A seven year old me would always wander on over, smiling
Placing my latest find on your desk and then sprinting away to another room in the house

Other days when the sun was high and the house felt too stuffy
I would come find you and pull you along to the garage
And out we would go, to the park to build sandcastles with clouds above so fluffy
Running up and down the hills near the forest, the sun so bright and hot it creates a mirage

Falling asleep on the car ride home with the stars twinkling overhead
Tucked in bed with a goodnight kiss and a pat on the head
Nightmares throughout the night, cries from my bed
But you would swoop in like a superhero instead
And the darkness wouldn’t look that dark anymore.

Ten years later and I’ve learned to stand on my own ground
A lifetime of receiving, the roles reverse and it’s now my turn
To repay the love given to me. The life lessons that come around
And shape me into who I am today are thanks to what I learn
Each and everyday from the person who works day and night
To bring me infinite happiness and a life without concerns.
Now I’ve made it my ultimate goal to make you proud by working day and night
So I can bring you infinite happiness and a life without concerns.

Happy Father’s Day ❤

-Avie 🙂

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When The Time Is Right

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”

-Anaïs Nin

We all live life at our own pace. And there’s nothing wrong with that. We may not be able to find out who we are until we are much older or we may have already known since a young age. There are also different times in life where we discover how we fit into the puzzle that is the world. For some of us, we could truly blossom when we’re in high school, perhaps college. Perhaps during our mid-forties or even later on in life. But at some point in our life, we’ll realize that we’ve found that place that just clicks with us and we’ll want to open ourselves up to the world instead of hiding in ourselves before the opportunity passes by. Everyone is traveling on their individual and unique path of life and we’ll all blossom at different times. So don’t worry if you haven’t yet. There’s a time and place for everything and you just have to hang in there for a little more. We are all pieces that come together to create the image on the puzzle. But just like how you have to place a piece on one at a time, each of us blossoms in our own time in the different stages of our life.

-Avie ❤

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via Daily Prompt: Blossom

Bring It To Life

I’ll spell it out in the stars if you insist,
that we were all born to create.
It would take an infinite time to make the list
of all the things we were born to create.

There are a lot of ways/things we can create. We can create stories through writing. We can create art through colors and shapes. We can create songs through music notes. We can create memories through living. We can create computers through machinery. We can create new dishes through ingredients. And the list goes on. Everyone has their own way of creating and bringing to life what was originally just in their imagination.

So for today, I decided to create something through art. ^^

create dp final.png

I wanted to try and convey an inspirational and somewhat “controlled-chaos/infinite possibilities” feeling that creating art gives me through this design. Hopefully this will inspire you to create something today as well! 🙂

Bring your imagination to life,

-Avie ❤

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via Daily Prompt: Create

My Life Inspiration

Paragon (n.): a person or thing viewed as a model of excellence.

There are a lot of people I admire that inspire me but one person that I admire the most in my life is my mom. Needless to say, she is my paragon for life. There are a lot of admirable qualities about my mom, but some of the things I admire the most is her perseverance and her ability to overcome the difficulties/criticisms in her life.

My mom doesn’t come from a rich family; she started working as a young student and didn’t have the money to go to college, but she brought her mom (my grandma) over here to America to earn a living using the little English she knew. Basically after she finished high school, her teenage self came over to America and guided my grandma who only knew Chinese and couldn’t speak English to start a new life. That takes a lot of courage and it’s not something I think I would be brave enough to do. Going to a foreign country where nothing is familiar and not being able to communicate easily with those around is extremely difficult. But my mom managed and struggled through the tough times on her own.

Today, my mom isn’t a super wealthy woman or anything. But she’s not bad off either. Having gone from working as a waitress with long hours and small pay, she has become the owner of the restaurant she was a waitress at and has owned and managed it successfully for over ten years. As a business person, especially in the restaurant world, you will find yourself facing a lot of criticisms perhaps from people who look down on having that job or from unsatisfied customers. But unlike myself, my mom can take those criticisms and make them her strong points. She will bounce right back up and keep working hard until those criticisms are nothing. I realized this the other day as I was working alongside her and I felt so proud to have her as my mom. If she wanted to, she has the ability to be given nothing and build an empire.  But she is still one of the  most humble people I know and I love her for all the life lessons she has taught me and how to have a strong and good character.

While the main focus of this post was about my mommy, I didn’t forget about you daddy. 😀 My dad is another wonderful person who I love so dearly but that’s for another day. ^^

-Avie ❤

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via Daily Prompt: Paragon

In Focus

To me, focus means two things. First, it’s the kind of focus when you take photos. I’m the type of person who likes to focus in on things when taking pictures so I can get all the details. But I’m only an amateur photographer haha. 😀

IMG_8795 (2)
Took them in a doughnut shop today ^^

The other definition I have for focus is the more tiresome one which is focusing on work. I procrastinate a lot when I’m doing homework or get distracted easily so I often have to tell myself to focus on the task at hand.

Anyway, this is what focus is to me!

-Avie ❤

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via Photo Challenge: Focus

A Narrowing Road

uncertainty - TAPER
Uncertainty

The farther you go, the narrower the road gets because you’re closer to your destination-your goal in life. The road will taper at some point. Even if you don’t know where it will lead you quite yet, you just have to keep running towards the end with a burning passion.

Don’t despair my friends! Keep fighting 🙂

-Avie ❤

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via Daily Prompt: Taper

Turn Up

Turn Up

It’s a quiet night, a lone figure sitting in the kitchen, doing a bit of work
An empty house that transforms into a mansion with the silence the moon brings
Sitting cross legged on a chair, pen in hand tapping dots on the fingers; a little quirk
Trees shuffle right and left outside, dancing to a song only they know how to sing.

The overwhelming loudness of the silence threatens to break the figure
Closed eyes plunge the world into darkness, but a fiery spark remains
A tap of the screen and a press of the button; no longer feeling insane
Dancing figures materialize and a harmony of voices fill the air-they sang:

About love, happiness, passion, independence, comfort, victories.
About loss, pain, anger, sadness, grief, uncertainty, anxiety.

Artists come to life and the empty mansion becomes a light-filled stage
Their music permeates the room, floods the basement and fills the floors with voices
Not quiet loud enough, a single slide of the finger turns up the volume until the voices
burst into the street, into the city, and mends the broken hearts locked in their cage.

The figure wonders if there exists a volume where the music is loud enough that it can reach the soul of the world and perhaps-yours too.

-Avie ❤

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via Daily Prompt: Volume

Triumph

fake it until you make it.png

Everyone has a different definition of what it means to be successful in life. To some it could be having a steady job and income and enjoying luxuries now and then. For others it could be living their dream job and searching for true happiness. There are numerous ways one can achieve success, aka triumph, but not everyone is confident enough to go out and do it. But if you don’t trust in yourself and get past your fears, whether it’s fear of failing, criticism, discouragement…etc, how will you be able to walk on the path life has set out for you? You won’t be able to take even one step. So believe in yourself. “Fake it until you make it.” Faking confidence will over time turn into real confidence. It’s better than not having any confidence and as a result not do anything.

You can start with the little things in life and gradually build up your resolve over time. For example, I wanted to learn a new language which seems daunting except I have a great love for learning languages so that gave me some confidence to start learning. I started by looking into some resources myself and asking friends who knew my target language for help. I’m at a point now where I can read, write, and speak the language, albeit not very fluently and only in small phrases. I also don’t understand a lot of what I’m reading but at the very least I have triumphed in learning the alphabet and understanding how the characters are pronounced and written. This was my little triumph that will only lead to greater triumphs in the future. These moments give me further confidence to continue fulfilling my dream and in the end I’ll be able to achieve success in my passions. Which means you can do the same too.

Don’t wait for chances to be delivered to you-take action and create those opportunities so you can triumph.

-Avie ❤

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via Daily Prompt: Triumph